Decisions make Recovery

1467281_10151815917716868_844971334_n In recovery, it is your
job to get up every day, participate in all life is offering (even
when you don’t want to) and to choose to make decisions differently
than you have in the past. None of these things are an easy feat by
any means. But the real road to recovery is found in one small
decision after another. It is the choice this morning to eat, the
choice tonight to not drink, the choice at 4am to not binge or the
choice at 2pm to not purge. And soon, all those different choices,
each individually made, make up a life that is recovered. SO, do
your job today and someday you can walk recovered.
 

Reasons for Recovery: Freedom

Recovery is not an easy process, and yes, it is a process. There will be highs and lows; goods and bads; ups and downs; positives and negatives; growth and relapse. And most of the time, it is not fun. It is hard, repetitive, unenjoyable WORK. So, why they heck would one choose to begin the process of recovery?

Well, because sometimes the “Juice is worth the squeeze.” AKA: the benefits are worth work.

I think most people in recovery, be it from an eating disorder or an alcohol or drug addiction, will tell you there are many reasons they started the recovery process and many reasons they continue the process. But today I want to focus on FREEDOM.

To me, freedom implies the ability to make a choice based on my own thoughts, beliefs, opinions ect. regardless of any outside person, event, trigger, circumstance ext. (as long as I am not physically hurting someone else in the processes).

When I have freedom, I have the choice to eat.

Most of the time, when you are in the depths of your eating disorder, you don’t have the choice to eat. Your options are 1. don’t eat    2. don’t eat    3. don’t eat   4. eat and pay the price later   or 5. don’t eat.   I think you get my point. Ed tells you that you cannot eat or XYZ will happen. You will gain weight, you will lose control, you will have to feel something, you will fall apart, the world will collapse ext.

and this applies to other addictive behaviors too. An addiction to alcohol tells you 1. i cannot feel this 2. i have to drink 3. i have to drink 4. i have to drink 5. i cannot handle this, i must drink.

So if recovery brings about freedom (the choice to eat, the choice to feel, the choice to stay sober, the choice to not punish yourself) then isn’t it worth the work it takes to achieve ?

Authenticity and Boundaries

I have been thinking a lot lately about being authentic.

What does it mean to be authentic?

So, I turn to webster (big surprise) to be authentic is to be genuine, or true to origin. I could probably write several blogs about what it means to be authentic, accepting yourself, and embracing your ED. But my thoughts have been more focused on recovery and the aspect of setting boundaries, in order to get the help you need.

“How do boundaries correlate with authenticity”

Boundaries are set in order to 1. protect ourselves 2. guard ourselves 3.keep ourselves healthy 4.get the help we need ext.. (there are a multitude of reasons).  I keep thinking about recovery, and relationships with friends/family that have to have limits set with them, in order for recovery to happen.

In setting a boundary there first has to be the understanding that a boundary is needed. This implies that “I must be authentic enough with myself to know that what currently exists, is not working for me, and I accept that I need a safe guard or boundary to protect myself.” This also invokes some mindfulness techniques (just to throw that out there)

The second part of setting a boundary is defining what the boundary needs to be. This implies that “I am authentic enough with myself to know my limits, and yes, I have limits.” Trust me, we all have limits. We all can only handle so much of certain things, certain people, certain environments and we ALL have to set limits in order to take care of ourselves.

The third part of setting a boundary is letting those effected by the boundary know it has been set. This implies that “I am authentic enough to let others know that I am not okay right now, and I need a boundary, which may effect my relational dynamics with them, and I am okay with that. And I am aware that their reactions/response to this boundary is not my issue, but theirs.”

The fourth part of setting a boundary is actually adhering to the boundary (which in my opinion, is the hardest part).